The Secret of Falling in Love with Your Own Self

Have you been in love?

Ofcourse who hasn’t .

And I need not even ask you this …but still I will…have you been in love with yourself.

Well if you find this approach completely narcissistic …let me tell you this if you haven’t been in love with your own self then you haven’t loved truly anything in this world.

Ya ! Love is not just a feeling like I have heard one of the person I thought knows all about love say time and again. Love is much more than just a feeling . Love is a relationship of acceptance of what we have denied exist within us . It is a tag of a relationship that we want to build on mutual respect of what we see and and what we believe.

Having said so How can we love anyone if we do not have any such relationship with our own self . If I don’t think I deserve the love of the person I want to love me because I have a big nose or  a big fat butt or I am not good enough in many ways I can think off…how can that person see the beauty in me or in my soul ….if i myself do not think i am lovable.

I have lived with so many fears and days of self hate during my school days.  I was constantly teased because of my voice which was unusually hoarse. I was very thin and very tall. I felt my nose was too big and too long .  And when my friends teased me a little bit i use to fall in self pity for hours and days and weeks and hated mostly everything about myself.

I prayed to god that to make me beautiful.

but during the self hate days i also realized that no one knew how miserable i was but me myself.

i one day looked at myself in the mirror and looked into my own eyes.  I felt pity for myself and I felt love for myself. I loved myself for all the suffering i have adhered . i knew if i don’t do anything of these voices in my head which tell me i am not worth it they will kill me soon or make me into that ugly image which does not have voice and wilts away in self pity.

I started talking to myself daily in the mirror. i threw many questions at myself and gave answers. Not only I gave answers I pretended to be very smart and confident. I kissed myself in the mirror and thought …. mmm not bad….if a day comes I will be able to pull it off….after all i never had a boyfriend 😉

Since my relationship with the mirror was very interactive …my fear of meeting new people and talking started to disappear as I had developed this habit to look straight into the eyes and talk that i didn’t had before. Thanks to the MIRROr Exercise.

I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was aware of how I sound and look while I talk.

Trust me …. the acceptance of who we are and loving that image that we are makes a hell of a difference. Try it ! Love your self ! Know Yourself! You will Never Regret!

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Dreams of a Faceless Lover

There are days when from out of the blue

while i am half awake and half asleep

i see this man come in my dream

he does not have a face

no features

i try to find out who he is

but he is not anyone i know

he is an unknown man

he is sleeping with a woman already

he is just talking to her

when he sees me

he leaves her

and he moves towards me

i think why is he giving me so much of importance

he does not even know me

well may be that is the best part

my dreams don’t want to know him

if he knows who i am

he will not desire me

so he doesn’t know me

he likes me sitting there

and he comes to me

he does not even talk

he does not even touch me

he looks at me

he looks into my eyes

he is not judging me

he is just plain simple looking at me

no questions

no answers

no converstations

none that i can see in his eyes

i have never seen a man like him

none

after some time this woman

she comes and sits next to this man

he does not turn to her

i like that

he does not turn to her and he keeps staring at me

the woman goes away

we both are left alone

we touch each other

and we lie down

no questions asked

no answers given

we make love

plain simple love

the dream ends

i wake up

i try to tell myself i know him

i feel guilty of such thoughts coming to my mind

i am married

this is a sin

but the good thing is i don’t know this man

i feel less guilty

i feel more attracted to him

i close my eyes again

this man is smiling again

sitting on the same bed

he leaves the book that he is reading

and comes towards me

this time i see his face

but i have not seen him

who is he?

we make love again

i wake up

i start my day

i think about him all day

i try to sleep again

he doesn’t come

i start reading something and forming him in my mind

he will come tonight

again

i will ask him to come again

i like this man

but i will not name this dream love

i will call him “peace”

he makes my mind peaceful

i don’t need chaotic emotions

all i need is peace

this man is peace

i will dream of him tonight

because he will not ask me

he will desire me inspire of

everything around him

he will be with me

wait for me

and love me

without a word

a relationship

all men look

but a woman feels

guilty to even dream

i will dream without guilty

of this faceless man

i will give him face of my imagination

and nurture him

till eternity

fearlessly