I am not a big fan of self help books. Why? Because they never help me !
Why they never help me ? It is because first they tell me how miserable I am and then they want to teach me different techniques to overcome that defect that I perpetually live in breath in and will probably die in.
Well …I believe I am ending up writing a self help note…. eventually it is all about working things out..isn’t t?
We all are same…that is what I have concluded and it makes being me easier.
Whatever I feel is weird about me … I have seen a slight glimpse of same weirdness, same fear in people I have interacted with , thinking they are devoid of any such weaknesses. No what I termed as weakness is a trait in a self help book. Once I read the word trait ..I feel miserable…Oh God! I think it is a long term illness is all that we can see off. All the self help books that you will come across as good books will make you believe – Well You Can Do it Too!
So why not in a nutshell …make it a day to day exercise of believing in our own self . Believing I will not let these hush hush voices pull me back.
What are these voices? Who all can hear them? How do they come in our Head?
These voices are of the sub conscious mind . They come from our past. These voices are of the people we have met in our day to day life (our relatives, friends , teachers, acquaintances, colleagues) – anyone who made us feel worthless , less than others, incompetent or in a nutshell WAS ABLE TO RIP OFF MY SELF CONFIDENCE OR THE IDEA OF WHO I AM!
We want to believe in these voices and these people we come across…because something in us is always ready to be vulnerable and fall apart.
Trust me We ALL Hear them! We hear these voices when we are doing anything new that we havent done before.
When we are trying new clothes. Looking ourself in the mirror. Meeting someone new. The excitement gives way to enthusiasm and in that rush the Voice in the head comes to powerplay with the Mind! It says Oh! you thought you are looking good ? You think this new person you are going to meet is going to like you ? You will be able to pull of that presentation really well!
Well Aint HAPPENING ! I YOUR WEAK THOUGHTS (THAT YOU HAVE BEEN NURTURING QUIETLY IN THAT MIND OF YOURS) I AM HERE AND SEE HOW I MAKE YOU PLAY THE GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE! YOU RUN FROM ME OR I WILL CATCH YOU! I WILL NEVER LET YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! YOU NEED CONSTANT APPROVAL OF FRIENDS AND RELATIVES TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE GOOD! YOU NEED THIS CONSTANT APPROVAL THAT YOU ARE DOING FINE ! YOU ARE NOT CONFIDENT! YOU ARE NOT OKAY BEING YOU SO YOU ARE ASKING! SEE I WON THE GAME!
Well I believe I have written it loud and clear to you all…and trust me in my 16 years of teaching and working experience I have heard at least hundreds of student and colleague confide in me what they feel at that moment when they feel less confident. A shiver runs through the spine when I realize how like a parasite we feed these feelings for years and make it stop our progress like a watch which needs winding and when left alone untouched stops.
The Realization that every negative thought about our own being counts is important. You cannot let it just lie there at one corner and wait for these negative thoughts about your ownself disappear one fine day!
It is a constant conscious work ! You need to pick that broom up and through the dust out of your mind. Not have a single iota of pity for those bad thoughts . You need to be ruthless when you discover yourself getting into this trap of worthless. You will find so many people trying to tell you that you YOU DO NOT have that in you !
You Do Not Have That In You! because…..
You cannot move alone in life without a bad relationship hanging on your shoulder because …the Society My Dear IS Bad! Oh You are so Vulnerable ! You are too emotional ! and what not ! and if you dont listen listen then you are selfish and self centred. People know what we fear and they use it against us to make us do what they want us to do ….just like these voices in the head which tell you how not to feel good about yourself. It’s a vicious cylcle.
Listen to your own self.. STOP BEING DEPENDENT OF OTHERS APPROVAL OF THE WAY YOU LOOK ! THE WAY YOU WANT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE! APPROVAL COMES AT THE COST! THAT COST IS NOT REACHING THE OPTIMUM YOU ARE CAPABLE OF AS A HUMAN BEING!
EMOTE! COMMUNICATE! LAUGH! SMILE! CREATE! TRAVEL! SEE! LOVE! CARE! and remember everything else exist because of You ! You need to feel the strength of the air you fill in your lungs. You need to be aware of the life that exist in you is Capablility!
I know it is difficult! I am also suffering when I give in to those voices. But when I DONT I LIVE.
THOSE MOMENTS WHEN I HAVE NOT GIVEN ON TO THOSE VOICES ARE THE MOMENTS OF ACHIEVEMENTS MOMENTS OF ADVENTURE MOMENTS OF CREATIVITY MOMENTS I HAVE FELT FREE AND ALIVE
EXPERIENCE IT !
(I think my article is a bit too long today …. but I HOPE you will be aware of those voices and shoo them off and feel FREE TO LOVE YOURSELF…. do leave a comment if you think you were able to get one of those feelings out of your head when you read this 🙂 🙂 🙂